Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
