tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
No stitches, just platelets and will power
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
