im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
