I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
