The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
