i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
