is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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