I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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