come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
