I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
