found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
