Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
i've created a new STD.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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