let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
