I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
