the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
