I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
