I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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