I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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