Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
