I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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