I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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