john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
