it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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