I feel like I'm in dance class right now
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
