i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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