oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
