bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
