I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
