I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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