my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
