I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
