please come you make the beer taste better
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
