did you get engaged???
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
