Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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