sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
