Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
