It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
