there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
