my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
