Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
