i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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