Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
