TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
