ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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