i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
