OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
