Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
