I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
