New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
