After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
