he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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