I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
