I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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